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Old work from Panglao Island.

July 25, 2010

I am a traveler rather than a tourist.

That’s why it’s my plan to travel the whole country. When I went in Bohol, i have discovered many things. A whole different culture than what I get used to here in Bacolod. The province’s main economy lies in Tourism, so you can see a whole flock of different tourists anywhere in the main attractions of the province. Great place, fun people, and a perfect time to reflect. So I haven’t deprived myself in scribing few pieces. I think this is the only “bearable” one. The piece was never published in the PA back then because i was too selfish to put this in papers. Here it goes:

Believe me, this is going to hurt me too.

The pain you are about to feel will also be my pain, although not too long ago, mine had not been yours. I should have warned you before everything began; I should have told you about my flaw before I let you in my world. Maybe I would not need to do this. To hurt you will not be easy.

It has been written over and over, happy is the person who finds joy in sunshine through a window, bliss in smilies and random text messages, music in the laughter of playing children, pleasure in a borrowed book read over a lazy weekend.

And many believed.

Yet few realized the repercussions of living in the little things. Because just as they are the trinkets of happiness in our every day, they are, when neglected, constant reminders of what is unrequited.

The little things never were important to you, in the same way, I am inclined to think, I never was.

I am angry. I am hurt. And before all the hurting turns to hate, over which I am afraid I have no control, I must hurt you back. You are the reason. Somehow, you have yet to see that.

I remember how, as a child, I used to skip dinner whenever my mother would scold me. It was cruel, knowing how she would later feel guilty about her son hungering the whole night; it was nonetheless the perfect strategy to get what I wanted.

At a very young age, I discovered how pain changes people.

It is solitude in a vacant seat that shows us who and what really matter, indifference in empty conversations that reminds us of the people and things we have taken for granted.

Pain confronts us with the realities happiness cannot. Pain is liberating.

Do not be afraid. It is still I, the one who taught you the magic of finding the right beat in the dance maniax stall, the one who showed you the warmth of his tears that lonely night, the one with whom you transformed the unrelenting rain into a shower of sanity.

It is still I, I who will hurt when I see you hurt.

This is a cycle that must come to pass.

When it does, I do hope you forgive me, as I would forgive you.


Overlooking Main Bohol

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Das permalink
    July 25, 2010 4:02 pm

    upod ko b sa lagaw2 mo… basta libre mo man

  2. katrinadanieles permalink
    July 29, 2010 6:13 pm

    pain is a cycle nga naman…=( nwei, upod man ko lagaw cmu! =) heheh

    • July 30, 2010 1:59 pm

      dasun lang if we had time…ty sa comments.

      • katrinadanieles permalink
        July 30, 2010 3:16 pm

        heheh. okie2! =) yey! heheh. palagi na akong dadaan sa page mo. heheh

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